Lately...

Life has gotten better...and worse...is that possible? I managed to get hired at a retail store for a very entry-level wage. The sad part is that I am busting my tail to at least get favorable reviews if things fall apart and I have to leave the job as a result of losing everything. I have showed up when not expected and taken a shift...I have taken two shifts when called and asked to help get things done around the store. I don't mind the job as it's very busy and works just about every muscle in your body. From overhead lifts to squats....to pushing tubs to the floor and working calves....to picking up huge and heavy boxes and working my biceps...the job is giving me the physical challenge. It can be mentally stimulating as you code in products for system purposes. You have to know what you're doing though anyone could actually do the job. It's the nuances that makes the job mentally stimulating...like making sure one product of at least 2 have a bar code facing out for easy scanning to see if the computer wants you to push it out to the floor. The people seem to be great. The problem is that it won't be enough to keep my family from splitting up. My wife and kids are planning to head north while I don't know what I'm going to do, yet. It's like stumbling through a dark hallway that you've never been down before and you keep bumping into things but the end of the hallway gets further away. Like you're on a treadmill in a dark hallway and you're bumping into things...it's not possible but I think it does a good job of telling how I feel. The good news is that I am working and, for a little part of the day, I escape the sadness of the impossibility of being successful. The bad news is when I come home and realize I'm about to be homeless, my car is on the way to being taken away, and the kids and wife are leaving for support that I am unable to give them. Hooray for work....boo that it still won't stop the inevitable fall. But at least I can work my tail off until that day comes. It's all I have left.